Life Hack

May. 30th, 2017 08:23 pm
lizcommotion: Lily and Chance squished in a cat pile-up on top of a cat tree (buff tabby, black cat with red collar) (Default)
Problem: hypervigilance has ramped WAY up this past year. When my phone makes noise or the doorbell rings, I go through the roof and it takes way too long to scrape me off the ceiling. (Or to use perhaps a more apt metaphor, coax me back out from underneath the metaphorical sofa where I'm hiding with the cats.)

Life Hack: I changed all the alerts on my phone to bird noises. I picked non-native bird species, because lbr the corvids in my yard alone can be Quite Loud. But if my alert noise is a loon, my brain does not immediately go DUCK AND COVER.

Hopefully at some point I can live in a place where I have control over the doorbell, and we can either "accidentally" break it or replace the noise with something that does not also set off my startle response.

I offer this most excellent life hack to you, dear friends, because I know I can't be the only Autistic person with PTSD who would like to spend less time feeling like a cat with a floofed out tail.

Also, if my brain eventually decides that the phone noises I picked equal danger, there's actually a WHOLE HOST of nature sounds I can use instead of ring tones. BRILLIANT.
lizcommotion: four different colored panels of the MRI image of a brain (brain)
RadioLab about Baboons and (non)violence
(note: I can't find a transcript, so audio-only AFAIK)

John Horgan examines how Americans seem to have a completely different attitude toward war than we did thirty years ago. He takes us on a stroll through Hoboken, asking strangers one of the great unanswerable questions: "Will humans ever stop fighting wars?" Strangely, everyone seems to know the answer. Robert Sapolsky brings us farther afield - to eastern Africa, where a population of baboons defies his expectations of violent behavior. Robert is surprised to feel hopeful for a gentler future, but then primatologist Richard Wrangham asserts that their aggressive nature is innate, unchanging, and hanging over them like a guillotine.

There's some evolutionary bio vs evolutionary psych annoying bits in there, and I did kind of fall asleep towards the end (on purpose, when I'm in pain I can't sleep bc pain is all I can think about so I put on podcasts).

However. In the middle there's a part about a baboon group that becomes less violent after a disease wipes out a bunch of its alpha-males (or as my partner put it, after their version of 4chan died). Ahem. Anyway even when new alpha males have been introduced, they have yet to revert to previous behavior patterns.
lizcommotion: A photo looking up at an autumn tree canopy (autumn trees)
A poem inspired by anniversaries and autumn and EMDR and, ultimately, PTSD.

What is it about autumn light?
by [personal profile] lizcommotion

tw: PTSD/anniversaries )

This work licensed under a Creative Commons share alike attribution non commercial 3.0 unported license.
lizcommotion: Harry Potter in Gryffindor Robes holding a wand with a green glow (harry potter)
So I am going to be up-front and say that this is a tough post for me to write because powerful stuff, but it would have been much harder for me to write it two days ago before the EMDR session. I am also making this entry public because I thought that it could be interesting to a broader audience, so feel free to link here if someone you know might be interested in it - just know that I may be slow in responding to comments. In addition, I'm going to go light on some of the details to spare others who have PTSD from getting triggered who might benefit from reading this post; still, know that I'm going to talk about things related to PTSD and trauma and being a survivor.

*goes boldly onward*

tw: ptsd, being a survivor, history of sexual assault, therapy )
lizcommotion: A leather journal (well-used) (journal)
[personal profile] staranise  has posted recently about the "freeze" response (as opposed to fight/flight, it's an additional lovely part of the body's response to stressors.)

Today I got to have another experience of that firsthand - I am pretty sure - and with partner's help actually identify the trigger(s). Because I thought I was having a good day. I went to the doctor, she was awesome and encouraging and filled me with not hope, exactly, but she didn't mention terrible things and was definitely in the Figure Out What's Wrong Scientifically Face, which is very reassuring to me. Then my mom and I went to a thrift store, I tried on some clothes which took a lot of spoons, we got lunch and I actually had an appetite, came home, I fell asleep.

trigger warning: sexual assault, trauma, body's response to trauma in a weird/scary way, PTSD )

So yeah, there's an example of the freeze response in action. Serious action. I'm leaving this unlocked in case anyone else finds it helpful; also because there seems to be a general discussion right now about flight/fright/freeze and I don't mind being part of that discussion (i.e. if you want to link someone to this, you are welcome to do so; just know that I may not have spoons to comment right away).

The Plan

Jul. 29th, 2013 08:57 am
lizcommotion: a raptor silhouetted against a sunet over the beach (bird sunset)
After a night's sleep, here's my plan. I pursue the trauma-NES (non-epileptic-seizure) link with psychiatrist/therapist because it can't hurt to look (unless a rude doctorman is telling you to in a don't question my authority you are just crazy pants way), as it is suspiciously timed with the Crohn's exams bringing up all the PTSD stuff.

Also, I look and see if any of my other conditions could be causing this. Or meds. Or med interactions.

This brought to you by crying on the stairs about my assailant from 10+ years ago at midnight.

Also also as positive reinforcement for dealing with all this SHIT, I look into getting a service dog.

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lizcommotion: Lily and Chance squished in a cat pile-up on top of a cat tree (buff tabby, black cat with red collar) (Default)
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